Winters Solace Read online

  I spend most of the night doing my best to make the room as festive as I can. Lucky for us, Sarah had more decorations than I knew what to do with, so it wasn’t that difficult. By the time I’d finished, it was already well into the morning.

  Iris and I sit on the couch admiring my handiwork. The small Christmas tree glows in the corner of the room, its colorful twinkling lights filling it. Hands wrap around my waist, and I feel myself being pulled towards Iris. She nuzzles her face into mine and whispers into my ear.

  “You’re amazing.”

  I pat her cheek with my hand, and the two of us lay down on the small couch, Iris holding me against her as we catch a few hours of sleep.

  Chapter 8

  Iris

  WE AWOKE TO THE SOUNDS of my mother’s gasps early the next morning. It felt as if we had just barely closed our eyes, but it was worth it to see her reaction.

  The entire room is covered in Christmas decorations. In the light, it was amazing to see the intricacies of Katlynn’s efforts. The Christmas tree sat in the corner, its lights still flickering. Tinsel hung along the walls and from the ceilings. There were even stockings tacked to the cabinets. Katlynn had brought my gifts from home and made some ones of her own to stuff under the tree. A Christmas blanket of Sarah’s lay at my mother’s feet. She’d thought of nearly everything imaginable.

  “Merry Christmas, Mom,” I go to her as she starts to cry. I wrap her in a hug, and the two of us sit there for a moment just holding one another. Finally, she pulls away from me.

  “Did you do all this?”

  “It was all Katlynn’s idea,” I nod towards her and she smiles sleepily from the couch. It was the first time I actually was able to admire her morning hair. She looked absolutely adorable.

  “Well aren’t you a keeper,” my mother wipes away happy tears, looking around the room. “It’s beautiful.”

  “Christmas is my favorite holiday too,” Katlynn smiles between us, running her fingers through her hair when she notices me staring.

  The nurse brings us all breakfast. My mother opens her gifts afterward, and I’m surprised to see that Katlynn even snuck in her own gift. After a while, she sneaks me out into the hallway andpulls a neatly wrapped package from behind her back.

  “How do you wrap things so well? You put me to shame.”

  Katlynn laughs and nudges the gift towards me. “Open it.”

  “I didn’t get you anything,” I argue.

  “Just open it,” she rolls her eyes at me. I hold it in my hand for a moment before I carefully tear the paper. Inside, folded neatly as I expected it to be, was a gray Wellesley College sweatshirt. It looked well loved. My heart skipped a beat when I saw it.

  “I’m probably the only person in the history of the world who gives someone a fourteen-year-old sweatshirt for Christmas, but I thought you might like it back.”

  “You kept this? After all this time?”

  “I want you to have it,” Katlynn says. “It’s from the first time we met at Rocky’s, do you remember?”

  Of course, I remembered. I’d replayed that moment in time in my head for so long I could recall it in my sleep. I looked down at the worn fabric in my hand. I could feel those emotions welling up inside of me.

  “Katlynn, I have something I need to tell you.” I start to speak, but she quiets me with a kiss. I sink into it. When we part, I smile at her. We stand there for a moment just staring at one another before I speak again.

  “I have someone I want you to meet.”

  I lead her down the hallway and knock on a door near the far end. I pause for a moment and then peek my head inside.

  “Robert, are you awake?”

  “Come in, come in!” I hear him call to me and I wander inside, holding Katlynn’s hand behind me. When he sees her, his smile grows wide.

  “Is this your girl?” He asks, and I nod, stepping out of the way so she can go up to meet him.

  “I’m Katlynn,” she says, holding her hand out to him. He pulls her to him, offering a hug. She returns it graciously, and when they let go of one another, she looks at me and smiles.

  “No Stephen or Isabelle?” I ask, sitting on the side of his bed. Katlynn joins me.

  “They’ll be by after a while,” Robert says. “How’s your father?”

  When Katlynn realizes he’s talking to her, she looks surprised. “He’s well.”

  Robert senses her confusion and smiles, “We used to work together at the power plant. Hell of an engineer.”

  “Robert Shaw, I knew your name sounded familiar.” Katlynn snaps her fingers. “You were one of the groomsmen at their wedding, weren’t you?”

  “Ah, I see they haven’t forgotten me after all!” Robert laughs. “Did you end up following your Dad’s footsteps?”

  “Not quite,” she smiles. “I wanted to do computer programming.”

  “Still a smart cookie, I see.” Robert looks pleased. “My son Stephen is a programmer. He’s working on opening a new business in Boston. Something to do with cyber security?”

  “My thesis paper was on cyber security,” Katlynn smiles. “Good for him. It’s a hot market right now.”

  “Well if you’re ever looking for a job, he’d be the one to talk to.” Robert smiles and then turns to me. “I heard about your mother. Is she alright?”

  “Just fine,” I reply. “Right down the hall from you.”

  “I’ll have to go pay her a visit.”

  Katlynn and Robert seem to talk most of the time, but I enjoy them getting to know one another. When I finally look down at my watch, it’s after one. We give our goodbyes to Robert, and I toss him his Christmas present onto the bed.

  “Don’t eat it all at once,” I tell him as he opens his prized toffees. “I’ll never hear the end of it.”

  THE TWO OF US ARRIVE at Megan’s right on time, toting a bottle of chardonnay that Katlynn had insisted we bring.

  “You always bring something for the host,” she insists as we hop out.

  “Well, its good I have you then,” I smile, leaning her into the car for a moment so I can plant a kiss on her lips. She smirks at me and nods towards the house. When I turn, David is waving at us from the porch.

  “Get a room,” he yells, rather loudly. When I look at Katlynn, she is blushing. I take her hand, and the two of us wander inside.

  The house smells absolutely delicious. Megan and Katlynn could be best friends in their tastes in decorating. Every speck is covered in Christmas attire. David takes our coats once we get inside and then snatches the bottle of wine. “No drinks for me?” He says eyeing Katlynn. She looks worried for a minute, and I give him a playful shove.

  “Quit making her feel bad, I wasn’t going to bring you anything.”

  David gives me a grin and looks to Katlynn. “She’s the rudest woman I know.”

  “I heard that.”

  The three of us make our way into the kitchen to join Megan, who is slaving away at the stove. Katlynn doesn’t even ask and hops in to join her, rolling up her sleeves and washing her hands in the sink. Megan puts her to work on the gravy while she pulls the turkey out of the oven.

  David pours me a glass of wine, and the two of us wander out onto the porch. They have a great condo that overlooks most of downtown.

  “How’s your mom today?” He asks me as he takes a drink of his beer. I tell him about the events of the morning and how Katlynn and I had surprised her with the Christmas decorations. When I’m through, he is smiling at me curiously, leaning his body over the railing of the porch.

  “What?” I finally ask him, taking a sip of wine. Whatever it was Katlynn had picked, it was tasty.

  “You really like this girl, don’t you?”

  I smile, leaning my body against the rail and nodding. “Yeah, I really do.”

  David shakes his head and looks down at his drink for a moment. “Iris, she’s going back to San Francisco soon. Are you guys even prepared for that?”

  “We already said this is just
temporary. We’re enjoying it while it lasts.”

  “Do you remember how messed up you were after Cynthia?” David genuinely looks concerned when we meet glances again. It messes with my stomach.

  “This is an entirely different situation than Cynthia,” I argue.

  “You’re right, it’s probably worse. You spent four years chasing after this girl in college. You finally get her, and then she’s going to up and leave again.”

  We sit in silence for a moment. I’m unable to find the words to say to fill the void. Eventually, he turns to me. “I’m just saying, you need to think about what is going on here. Look out for both of you. I just don’t want to see either of you get hurt. She’s a nice girl. You are too, most of the time.” He playfully nudges me, and I shove him back a little. Mostly I just feel distracted and overwhelmed.

  “Come on. Don’t let it ruin your evening, I was just watching out for you.” He offers me his arm, and the two of us make our way back inside.

  Megan and Katlynn are busy setting the table when we come back in. David and I help bring silverware and plates and some of the remainder of the dishes. As we move back and forth, he takes bites from the plates as he passes them. Megan smacks at his hand when she catches him, and he grins at her. “I worked hard on that!” She grumbles.

  When the four of us sit down, my nose is intoxicated by the vast aroma of delicious food in front of us.

  “It looks almost too pretty to eat,” Katlynn says.

  “Almost being the key word,” David argues.

  The food starts to disappear quickly. By the time we’ve all had our fill, the four of us are nursing our stomachs when Megan mentions that she made pecan pie. Katlynn squirms in her seat, unable to say no but looking incredibly and uncomfortably full.

  “You have to try this pie,” David says, matter-of-factly.

  “He’s right. It is a good pie,” I reply as Megan sets it out on the table. Katlynn and I end up sharing a piece, and by the time we’ve finished, she eats nearly the entire thing herself.

  Katlynn stays for a little while after, letting the rest of us finish off another round of drinks. When she finally gets up to leave, David and Megan both attack her with hugs. I walk her outside, and the two of us stand on the porch for a minute holding each other’s hands.

  “Are you okay?” She asks me, catching my glance.

  I do my best to smile, in spite of being somewhat distracted. “I’m okay. I’m really glad you came.”

  “Me too,” she smiles back at me and leans in to kiss me softly on the lips.

  “Are you sure you can get to your parent’s from here?” I ask. “I can drive you if you want me to.”

  “It’s only ten minutes, I’ll be fine, I promise.” She squeezes my hands. “Do you want me to come by when I get back?”

  My mind runs back over the conversation with David, but I ignore it. “Of course.”

  We kiss again softly, and she wanders off the steps, giving me a small wave goodbye.

  When I wander back inside, David and Megan are snuggling next to each other on the couch, arguing playfully about David’s rude table manners at dinner. I sit down beside them, and Megan turns to me.

  “Iris, she’s AMAZING!” She smiles. “Can you keep her forever?”

  Chapter 9

  Katlynn

  MY FATHER GREETS ME at the front door when I arrive. He’s dressed in a Christmas vest, not unlike any other year for as long as I could remember. The door slides open, so I can make my way inside, toting another bottle of wine for my mother. After he takes my coat from me, the two of us hug tightly. I can tell by the way he holds me that there’s something on his mind.

  “Merry Christmas, sweetheart,” he says to me when we part.

  “Merry Christmas, Daddy.” I follow him as he leads me into the kitchen where my mother is hard at work over the stove. My father and I waste no time jumping in to help her. Again, there seems to be an awkward air in the room, but I don’t press it. Instead, I enjoy the smells of my mother’s fabulous cooking. The last time I’d had my mother’s holiday cooking had been years ago when they’d come for a visit to California. Even then, I doubted anything could beat what she had in store for today.

  The three of us make small talk while we work. I help with the finishing touches on the casseroles my mother has made, and my father is quick to take the pies out of the oven when he’s instructed to.

  “Guess who I ran into today?” I ask my father as he sets the pies on the counter. “Robert Shaw.”

  Both my parents look surprised when I say his name. My father smiles. “Robert Shaw. I haven’t heard his name in ages. How’s he doing?”

  “He’s a patient of Iris’ at the hospital,” I reply. “But he seems to be doing well.”

  “Is her mother okay?” My father asks me. I watch as my mother turns towards the stove again. The feeling that something was wrong comes creeping back to me.

  “She’s doing okay,” I reply. “They’re going to watch her for a few days before she can go home but the surgery went well.”

  My father looks pleased. “Robert Shaw. It’s a small world.”

  “It definitely is,” I agree.

  To say my mother had outdone herself would be an understatement. As we sat down at the table together admiring the fruit of her labors, I realized she likely did most of this just for me. It sent a flutter through my heart to think that. It had been a very long time since someone had gone through so much trouble on my behalf.

  “Mom, the food looks delicious,” I say as she starts to send the dishes between my father and me to serve ourselves. As we enjoy it, my father bombards me with questions about work and my life in San Francisco. All the while, every time I look at my mother, she is doing her best to avoid direct eye contact with me.

  “Thanks for going through all the trouble today, Mom,” I say as I finish up the last of the food on my plate. My father cuts me a slice of pie. As I wait, I try to move my head to catch her glance. Finally, she manages to look at me.

  “Are you alright?” I can hardly keep her from looking away. “What’s going on?”

  She gets up from the table suddenly. “I’ll go get some ice cream.”

  “Mom!” I call after her, but she’s gone in a flash. My father and I sit awkwardly at the table before he finally clears his throat.

  “You’ve seen a lot of Iris lately, haven’t you?” We meet glances as he takes a drink of the wine I’d brought.

  “It’s hard not to when she lives next to Sarah,” I argue. “But yes, I have. What’s going on, Dad?”

  My father pauses for a moment before he speaks. “You didn’t happen to go to see the lights downtown last night, did you?”

  The Christmas lights. Last night. It takes me a second to follow before a horrified look fills my face.

  “Becky from the clubhouse saw the two of you,” he struggles to finish his thought. The thought hadn’t even crossed my mind that someone they knew might have seen us. I can feel my heart racing in my chest as he looks at me. My head falls into my hands.

  “Oh God,” I whisper. Out of all the ways for my parents to find out.

  My mother returns back with the ice cream a few moments later and dishes us both out some. As she sets my bowl back on the table, I look up at her.

  “Mom, I can explain.”

  “There’s nothing to explain, sweetheart,” she says to me as she sits down at the table. “We can’t help you make your decisions for you anymore. You’re going to have to learn from your mistakes on your own now.”

  I stare at her for a moment, processing what she had just said. “Iris isn’t a mistake,” I argue with her, suddenly feeling very offended.

  “Let’s not get into this right now,” she says, putting her spoon into her bowl and taking a bite of pie.

  “Iris is not a mistake,” I repeat myself, resting my hand on the table. “Just because you don’t understand my decisions does not mean you get to insult me for them.”

>   “You have a life in San Francisco to think of,” my mother argues, quietly.

  “Honey,” my father puts a hand on my shoulder. I stand up, letting it fall back to him.

  “You just don’t like my decisions because they make you uncomfortable,” I stare down at her, but she refuses to look at me. “You just don’t like the idea that I might be falling for a woman.”

  “Listen to yourself!” We finally meet eyes, and I can see her frustration. “Katlynn, you live in San Francisco for goodness sakes! She lives in Wellesley! You’re infatuated with some silly girl who you knew ten years ago. You two know nothing about each other. I don’t agree with you making such juvenile decisions when you’re a grown woman.”

  I don’t know what to say. We stare at each other for a long moment before I move from the table. “I think I’m going to head back to Sarah’s,” I reply, looking at them both. “Thanks for the food. It was wonderful.”

  My mother doesn’t say another word to me as I walk past her out of the room. As I make my way to the front door and fetch my coat, I can hear my father’s footsteps behind me. He places a hand on my shoulder, and I turn, wrapping my arms around him. I feel his chin rest softly on the top of my head as he strokes my back. Tears stream down my face and I struggle to catch my breath for a moment. When we finally pull away from one another, he reaches down to wipe my face with his thumbs.

  “Your mother only wants what’s best for you,” he says.

  “She has a funny way of showing it,” I reply a bit harsher than I wanted to. We stand in silence for a moment, his hand on my shoulder. When I finally look up at him, he is smiling at me.

  “Do you remember the first time that you brought her over to meet us?” My father asks me.

  It was the first month of classes. I’d brought her over to study for our first Accounting exam. Iris had worn a beautiful floral print dress, and my mother fawned over it the minute she saw her. When she’d asked where it had come from and Iris had told her the thrift store, my mother nearly had a panic attack.